JUST KEEP SHINNING BRIGHT
Hey, sis.
I was going to make a post about my Vegas Market recap but that doesn't feel genuine in this moment. This past month has been everything but the glitz and glam and I just need a sec to talk from the heart. Market recap will be on its way though.
Let's talk about unpredicted moments life challenges you with and moments not going as planned. Being in Denver as I am sitting here in a hospital waiting room waiting for my husbands surgery to finish was not planned. Getting the "c" word and being dead to the world was not planned. Losing a sense of motivation for my work schedule was not planned. Weeks of not posting a blog post because of self doubt was not planned. I think you get the point. As I sit under the stark bright white lights, uncomfortable fake leather chairs + watching the nurses push the bed patients into the elevators, I feel that someone needs this reminder too.
As many of you know, I made the choice to officially step out of the fitness world, career wise. It was all I had known for the past 5 years. It was my comfort zone and my safety blanket. This last year I had been going through the motions of my daily life with my tank empty and my soul was begging for me to make the change. I told myself it needed to be all or nothing (hi enneagram 8) or I knew I was going to half ass. In June I was both feet in as I begun to fully chase my passion in my Beautycounter biz + blogger world full time. The first couple weeks I was disciplined with my work hours, working out every day + staying up with my social media. Everything was going just as planned, right?
Well, friend. I can tell you July was literally nothing I had penciled in on my calendar. My husband and I got the "c" word and were dead to the world for weeks while his health issues were popping up again. My daily routine was completely out of wack + I felt the laziness set in. I did not have the motivation to get to the gym when my alarm went off let alone sit in front my computer after. Scheduling a last minute trip to Denver for my husband to get some health issues resolved and planning blog "launch" in a hospital waiting room the night before. Long story short, getting this new found path kicked off has literally felt like a hot fucking mess and not what I had planned. I've felt like a failure. I've lost control.
Today when I was decomposing to my momma she reminded me, "just keep shinning bright". As I read those words I felt the negativity + enemies words lift off my shoulders. It was that small simple phrase that made my world light up again. It was the words that made me take out my computer and write this post.
Maybe you are in this snap shot of life or you can look back and relate. If you happen to be in a similar situation right now, I want you to stop and take a big exhale.
I put "grace" in the name of this blog because I have learned that giving yourself grace can be one of the greatest gifts to yourself. Grace means that all of your mistakes now serve a purpose instead of serving shame. Right now, together, we are choosing to not dwell in shame. Right now we are granting yourself grace that it is not always going to go as planned. You my friend, get to choose what your energy goes to. Rather than thinking July was a wasted month, I get to choose to acknowledge that last month was a time I didn't know I needed to recover, reflect and rest. I am choosing to take action moving forward and not being stuck in feeling the shame of failing. So what new opportunities, energy, mindset or connections can you attract?
Maybe I should have started this post out with a "Dear Diary" but hey, writing is my therapy. If you have made it this far down, I imagine that you have felt these moments too. I am going to leave you with these reminders today. There are 5 things you can give up to make life a little lighter:
1. Give up control
2. Stop fearing change
3. Not living in the shame of your past
4. Negative self talk
5. Interrupt anxiety with gratitude
I hope you can take a moment to close your eyes + exhale any sense of shame, failure or expectations. Just keep shinning bright.
xx,
Ky